Sunday, June 19, 2011
the excusitis disease and how to find help
Dr.David Schwartz diagnosed a disease among people in all walks of life. He even gave it a unique name based on what causes it.He intimates that people who are normally called failures have this condition in advanced stages.
I am not in the habit of doling out self help information and neither do I want to be referred as a know-it-all telling you who to listen to or which books to read in order to get better. But if you are the reading,or the leading type with people you need to motivate in order to get work done,The Magic of Thinking Big is one book that I am sure would serve you well.
This particular chapter came to mind recently after attending a do-it-your self presentation. Much as I realized that a lot of people were appreciative for the information shared and there were obvious signs of envy for the guy who was living the life,a totally different side turned up when we interacted after the presentation. The side that gives all reasons why we cannot do what others have done.Those who have achieved are either con-artists or have had an unfair advantage over others.Such voices tend to be so loud they wont give opportunity to positivity. Granted,we all recognise that it takes inconsiderable effort and opportunity to be successful,but it starts in self belief. We all want to live a good life,where money is more than our needs.We all want to travel and afford life as we know it.I suspect that that is why we listen to people who have the life we would like to have. The people who have lived in places and countries we want to live in .The people who drive the cars we would like to drive.The people who live in houses we would like to live in.It's as if we want to confirm just how good our life will be when we archive our dreams by observing others.
Why then would we decide to find reason not to be what we dream of? Confusing? That is what Dr Schwartz calls the 'excusitis' disease. People afflicted with this disease find reason not to get started. They will dig deep and find all possible reasons why something cannot be done,especially by them.They may hide behind age;they tend to be either too young or too old.Education;they are either with little education or not the right education. They may hide behind health,always with a condition which prevents them from being who they want to be. They may also hide behind luck and the fact that the universe has conspired to deny them their life's joy at all times. The list is big.It is a self defeatist mentality which unfortunately once rooted leads people who have real potential into real failures.
The truth is that all of us have the same opportunities in life.WE all have twenty four hours in a day,for example.No one is created with an extra heart or a bonus pair of hands.Yes we are gifted differently,but there lies the diversity of our strengths. We can get whatever we want no matter our background,our education,our faith or even how powerful our ancestors are. People who we look up to in life have achieved what they have, not without challenges,and grave challenges at that.If you listen to them,they could have hidden behind a lot of excuses just like the normal average guy,but they didn't. Some have found success despite being foreign in the country where they find themselves.Some have battled with the limitations of poor health,old age,death of parents,abuse as children,no contacts,no education or even several false starts to make it in life.They could have thrown in the towel when met with hard challenges but they didn't.
If you recognize even a miniature thread of this condition, take a few steps. It may also be that people you are responsible for,people you lead may have this excusutis condition.Take heart ,it is curable.
Develop a positive attitude.Look for what you can do and not what you cannot do. Realize that your mind only works with what you feed it.If you choose negativity and why you can't, it will work overtime to give you reasons why you cannot do what is at hand.On the other hand if you challenged it to give you reasons why you will succeed, it will give you thousands of reasons why you will succeed.
Decide to live for now and not for the past.The past is gone and you cannot change it.Look at the opportunities you have now and use them.Go for them with all you have.
If it is poor health you are worried about,the fact that you are still alive and not dead yet means you have more opportunity than most people.Stop feeling sorry for yourself and live with what you have. You are alive for a reason,poor health or not.
Life is too diverse for us to know everything,so we only use what we know.Education is good,but if you focused on education alone you may not have time for anything else. Use what you have. The greatest singers did not go to music school...and every time you fail,throw a party,you have found one more way that wont work and you are getting closer to what works.