Saturday, November 12, 2011
If you helped break them up, you will be the last person he will ever hook up with
Sean is newly single again. Depending on which side of the bar counter you are seated, this may be good news, as if straight from that popular Bible version. The good news which proclaims amazing things to sufferers-suffering single girls with a hot dude in the neighborhood- that is.
But Sean has been single before ,or rather has fallen out of love before(if it is him giving the marching orders), what other people call being dumped, if he were just left there agape, arms open as if in an expectation to embrace but with nothing to embrace-anymore. But those occurrences, despite being numerous, quiet numerous, have never ever warranted a summons for an extra-ordinary meeting of the brother hood.
What caused congregations at the bar counter straight from work this cold Tuesday evening, other than the cold beer and nuts of course, was that fact that some new news had surfaced in the Sean singleness saga. One of his friends, a girl, was involved. In fact, according to Sean’s findings this girl(friend) Jemima encouraged the demise of their relationship by feeding his girlfriend then, subtle yet well placed bunyebwa call them pointers to suggest the guy was not all that worth it. He is a flirt, with a string of exes, who she seemed to know all too well-despicable choice for girlfriends I tell you- and Sean’s family is not the marrying type; Jemima intimated to girlfriend-now ex, in the spirit of looking out for each other as girls.
This information seemed only shocking to Sean, who for all his skill and smooth talk had never known that this girl had her sights set on him. Therefore when most immediate past girlfriend left in a huff, Jemima was there to provide consolation as any loyal friend would. Thank God for such friends! But her strategy had one omission, she did not cover her tracks well, otherwise this beer and nuts we were taking while mulling over a very sensitive situation would have been spared.
Men, hate to feel stupid-even if they are, hood winked or tricked. They prefer that they be the ones to do that and not the other way round. So, the Sean who had been getting to terms with his dumped-ass state, with the comfort and reliable shoulder of Jemima, has suddenly turned cold and distant to the sudden worry and disturbance of the girl, a worry which led her to concernedly come asking what the problem might be. Is Sean coming down with a fever? He left all the food I sent him untouched last night, and all my calls and texts have gone unanswered!
Much as the bar-counter session did not come out with any useful suggestions; well by the time we were coming to resolution time, the bar was closing, hence the adjournment, it at least provided clarity to Sean that he had been set up. And it was not like he did not like his neighbor/friend/man hunter Jemima, he did. But I am sure you have all heard of that famous man-ego which will not accept help even if that help comes with good intentions-in this case kicking the then girlfriend’ s backside so he can have space for more favorably suiting girls-in Jemima’s view any way.
Men are like Lions, never hyenas. They hunt and may fail to kill, but if they will eat, they must have hunted the prey. Hyenas on the other hand are more opportunistic. They learned leverage well in jungle strategy school. They will keep a seemingly disinterested distance till the dirty work is done, and they will move in for the sharing or pieces most times. A lion is not one if it cannot do its dirty work. Its ancestors will disown it.
So, girls, if you ever get involved in this delicate balancing game of relationship power-sharing corridor negotiation, have this in mind, if you help ease his dumping, make sure he never knows about it, or better still, if he is stuck with someone unsuitable according to your analysis, tell him, or pray for him. Prayer works. Otherwise you are likely to be the last one, once again on that list of new considerations.
And oh, Jemima’s calls have not been returned. Not likely they will be.