Njuki Moments

Thursday, November 3, 2011

This 'dogs are men thing'...er 'men are dogs';my final say


Once in a while, a man comes forward, in this era of ‘men -bashing’, to set the record straight, or let us say, to contribute to a majorly female dominated discussion. I have been nominated this time. So I will be telling you about issues you wish you knew about men.
You see, a lot of 'truths' you think you have about the menfolk are actually myths. You know why? Because they have been passed on by fellow women, who are not men (duh!) so they don't know how a man reasons, what a man wants and why men do what they do.

I believe in world peace and harmony, so I have decided that the more women and girls know the truth about men, the better we shall all co -relate and live happily-ever after.

Of course I don't expect all smiles, especially from the ‘brothers’ who will regard me as a snitch and wish to pour beer on me for telling on them, but I believe they will see the light -soon. That this is for their own good too...and anyway if the beer was poured properly I won't lodge any complaints either.

So, here we go.
Where did you ever get the concept that men are dogs? How can you even liken us-fathers, husbands, boyfriends, brothers-basically, the best creatures to have walked this earth, to a dog! Beats me!
Okay, people who keep dogs (I don't know many people who do) tell me that dogs are God-sent. They are humble, polite, loyal and protective. They would rather catch the grenade and die; if that is what is required-rather than let their master, or mistresses in this case, even sustain a scratch from that thing. Great aspects of character, if you ask me. May be that is why we may be referred to as dogs too. If that is the source of our so-naming, I can say I understand.

But No-someone here is screaming, the noun ‘dog’ here has a negative connotation, from the arguments at least.

Out of the arguments I have listened to, and those I have had the pleasure to eaves-drop on, this is the worst connotation that can be put in the same sentence with men, since filth.

Most will say that that being called a dog has nothing to do with sexual conquests. No?
You see , dogs, just like men, normally hang out together- clubs on weekends, strip clubs on Thursday’s, a bar on the other nights of the week, Rugby on Saturday while looking for something new to hit. Okay. I may agree there. Some men behave like dogs.

In their defense, even dogs sometimes tire of waiting for something to happen, like keeping the house where no thief ever breaks in, but once you have their attention, you need to keep it.
Dogs like attention. Please provide it, or they may roam, a little too far sometimes.
But you may argue still, that those are the stray dogs. Again-true.
Good dogs are well bred, and are equally well behaved. But if you get to the point of calling your spouse, boyfriend or someone you have never met, a dog, what would you be doing keeping around them, if I may ask?

Now, the point here is for you to pay attention while selecting your dog, and your man, if I may painfully use the two in the same sentence. Once you miss out on good genetic and family traits, even certified training may not get the best out of them.
So it should come as no surprise when a girl meets a guy and her mind is set to ‘All men are dogs’ mode. This is where the problem lies. Ask a girl to write a page on what a bad boyfriend is and she will write a novel –like volume. Ask her to write down what a good man is and she will write ‘Someone who treats me well’, with a full smile to boot.
The reason, my sister ,you may miss the ‘good man boat’ is that you are so busy looking for a dog in every man, than looking for the good men, and the universe ,karma, God, whatever you prefer to call it doesn’t disappoint.
Something else you may need to know; if you meet a guy who is being genuine and treat or speak to him as if he is a fake (dog) you have just ended the game even before the first whistle. You need to start paying more attention to the ‘potential husband/good boyfriend traits’ and not just focus on the ‘All men are dogs traits’.
It’s you that will suffer if you miss the 7 good things your man did yesterday but spent the whole next day dwelling on that one thing he did that you didn’t like. If you automatically expect a man to be a dog, you will treat him like a dog and yes he will (in your mind) become a dog.
The next night out when you meet a guy you like, and you notice something you don’t like, it doesn’t mean he is a dog it just means you’ve got some work to do. Men tend to do the same.

For those who believe they got dogs for men, a little paring shot here; look for the best in them, and may be keep that opinion to yourself (and your girlfriends) otherwise the day he learns that he may simply go out of his way to act to your expectations-you know how people are psychological beings and how they try to live up to their expectations, good or bad, right?
And, oh- don’t allow dog-like terms to be used in reference to anyone no matter their sex. It is abusive.
And unless you are keep dogs for pets, my advice would be to let them go roam-far away from you; and only you can do that.

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